Yes, it does. I know it sucks to pay what you can’t afford, to pay on a home that is worth less than the amount you gambled it would be. I am sure you have emotional, psychological, spiritual and some other reasons to walk. And now I read some economists have become ethicists and proclaimed homeowners, like corporations, have no soul, no I mean moral obligation to pay back what they borrowed.

He proceeded to explain that I didn’t have a moral obligation to the bank. I had a moral obligation to my family. I had a contractual obligation to the bank, along with a clear moral obligation to be honest in my dealings. What he was asking was this: Which is more important? Your contractual obligation to the bank or your obligation to your family to preserve your ability to make a living? Source

That’s nice. And it sounds reasonable, I suppose the thousands of people who drove up credit cards and chose bankruptcy agree- but unlike those fat cats with the golden parachutes who get paid regardless of whether or not their company makes a profit, I don’t. Destroy the housing  and consumer credit market and my 401k slumps despite prudent, sacrifical investment; my company falters, I don’t get raise while everything else goes up. And I still don’t own a home. The money I want to use to buy a home, you know that 20% you shrugged off as travel money not a down payment on a home, is locked into my 401k. I will borrow on it, but I watch it every day bobbing and I wait to withdraw, you know when the market is up. I am going to buy one of those foreclosed homes and pay a pittance per month on a minimum mortgage. That way, when things get worse I will at least have a roof over my head.

You may think, but wait she’s benefiting from mortgage rates unheard of since 1970…yeah, whoop dee doo. Unlike you, I think about my children. Lots of luck they’ll have ever qualifying for a mortgage or credit- in the future only the wealthy will own homes, because why would banks ever again extend credit to a class of folks who will just walk.  So maybe when my children are 50 they will have enough saved to buy a home outright or maybe they’ll just have to wait and inherit mine.

Please note, I am not a financial miser; I have made loads of mistakes, financial mistakes it took 7 years to remedy. I paid back far more than I ever owed, on perishable items like groceries because I didn’t earn enough to eat and live.

Mostly, I am shocked this financial advisor still hasn’t learned his lesson- he’s not qualified to give money advice, tho I am sure he’d be empathetic.

God help my children. We don’t say the rosary together until I think “we really should, then “it’s a decade and done.” And I can’t claim my children receive much formal religious education at home- you know “drill and spill.” I can’t memorize crap to save my life, so I have assumed they can’t either. I know classical educators would be wagging their fingers at me. But they seem to learn and believe in God. Really. One I am pretty sure is not hell bound, so there’s that.

I don’t write about motherhood or family often, because I don’t think about my life as a subject nor do I like scrutiny. I am confident I am doing as well as I ever could. Except for today.

Today I felt the pressure of parent who realizes their child’s nails are dirty and the pediatrician has just entered the exam room. I only designed my daughter’s saint outfit on the fly because I thought I had a fun one- Lucy. Eyes on plate and glo sticks from the 75% off Halloween sale under her dress. Man, I thought I was so funny. Until, they announced each child was to recite clues about their saint so the audience could guess.

My heart sunk, I tried to remind myself I that am not “one of those moms, it will not bother me if she says she “Casper the Ghost.”  Then the children got up and recited by heart entries from the Catholic Encyclopedia. My daughter knew to say, ” I lost my eyeballs.” That’s it. I tried to convince her to drop out of the contest. Yes, I did. She said “are you crazy?” She didn’t win, but made everyone laugh something no other contestant did. Reminds me, I happen to think humor is a ‘gift of the Holy Spirit

Saint Philip preferred spiritual mortification to physical mortification. When one man asked Philip if he could wear a hair shirt, Philip gave him permission — if he wore the hair shirt outside his clothes! The man obeyed and found humility in the jokes and name-calling he received.

Nah.I don’t think so. Nor would they “interview” a greedy capitalist and outline his sins against charity. But it’s OK, fine and appropriate to interview a man with same-sex attraction (SSA)  AKA gay. Aside from sexual sins, I can’t recall one episode of Catholic Answers that explored an INDIVIDUAL’s sin. Kinda odd, and one wonders if Catholic Answers wasn’t after ratings by featuring shows discussing personal sexual sin.

The show I am referring to is the one on which “Steve Gershom” discusses being Catholic and SSA. I found myself really liking “Steve” (his nom de plume)  and appreciating his thoughtfulness all the while cringing at Patrick Coffin’s questions. Why do you lisp? Is it because you’re a narcissist (you’re gay)? I am paraphrasing, but I couldn’t help but be unnerved by his treatment- it was as if orthodox Catholic radio caught a live one and they were going to prove their hypothesis correct. I kept listening because this was really good Catholic radio, something the apologists berating the sinners rarely provide. Steve was a gem and I am sure provided hope to many struggling out there. But most of all, he was normal and presented his SSA as his cross, one of many.

That gets me back to Catholic Answers programming and obvious bias- sexual sins bad ( yes, we know they’re) the rest…not worthy, interesting, sinful enough to discuss. I mean it. When they disagree with the Pope, he wasn’t speaking ex cathedra so on to the next topic. Generally this occurs when the Pope calls on us to be charitable, you know health care and all, to the poor. Gloss over, on to teen masturbation and birth control. I know the liberal Catholic press has similar but opposite biases- sad few are Catholic.

Steve’s interview really brought Catholic Answer’s bias to light- particularly when Patrick Coffin was trying to link it to the deadliest of sins- pride (narcissism). Steve admitted to introspection and narcissism, but I have to say his humility spoke louder. Narcissist don’t admit to narcissism ever- and they are by nature BISEXUAL- meaning they take whatever they can get- men, women and God knows what else. Steve struggles with concupiscence. He is fighting the good fight, he is not, according to his own testimony,  an active homosexual. I cannot know or judge another’s soul, but I have to wonder if the sort of struggle Steve lives does not bring him closer to sanctity than most in this life.

In its widest acceptation, concupiscence is any yearning of the soul for good; in its strict and specific acceptation, a desire of the lower appetite contrary to reason. To understand how the sensuous and the rational appetite can be opposed, it should be borne in mind that their natural objects are altogether different. The object of the former is the gratification of the senses; the object of the latter is the good of the entire human nature and consists in the subordination of reason to God, its supreme good and ultimate end. But the lower appetite is of itself unrestrained, so as to pursue sensuous gratifications independently of the understanding and without regard to the good of the higher faculties. Hence desires contrary to the real good and order of reason may, and often do, rise in it, previous to the attention of the mind, and once risen, dispose the bodily organs to the pursuit and solicit the will to consent, while they more or less hinder reason from considering their lawfulness or unlawfulness. This is concupiscence in its strict and specific sense. As long, however, as deliberation is not completely impeded, the rational will is able to resist such desires and withhold consent, though it be not capable of crushing the effects they produce in the body, and though its freedom and dominion be to some extent diminished. If, in fact, the will resists, a struggle ensues, the sensuous appetite rebelliously demanding its gratification, reason, on the contrary, clinging to its own spiritual interests and asserting it control. “The flesh lusteth against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh.”

“As individuals and as a nation, we now suffer from social narcissism. The beloved Echo of our ancestors, the virgin America, has been abandoned. We have fallen in love with our own image, with images of our making, which turn out to be images of ourselves.” Daniel J. Boorstin quotes (American social historian and educator, 1914)

Let me add “church” and “parishioners” to the quote and it fits my subject quite well. Many of us could be said to be suffering from mass narcissism you know like mass hysteria.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism. Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school.(Mayo Clinic)

We glom onto some cause be it being green or pro-life and it becomes us. It’s good, cool, accepted to be green so you know we are too, without doing anything. We can wield our self righteous club of environmentalism ( or any other cause) and speak as God, Himself, because it’s not our opinion, ” it’s just what’s right.” And lucky for some us they’re are some topics that are black and white: abortion, racism, child abuse etc. I write lucky because when an issue is not morally debatable it serves as a weapon of mass destruction for the narcissistic.

Narcissists do not actually care about the issue they wield as a badge of their superiority. Note: I did not write moral, that would be to claim they value morality when in actuality they only value being superior not actually objectively correct. A narcissist may be on the moral side, but that is relative to their gains. If this was Nazi Germany, they would be Nazis. Nazis because in that time and place, Nazis were in absolute power. In the United States, they’re are pockets of such power centers in all sorts of movements from gay liberation to sustainable farming. Look closely enough, read few blogs, and you will find “thought leaders” who dominate and become messiahs of their causes- they always appear pure to their causes. These thought leaders are held up as arch-types. Any deviation from their lead is a shortcoming and/or defiance. There is no room for agreement on the basic premise (abortion is murder) and disagreement on how to achieve the ultimate goal. Allegiance to the leader is sacrosanct, not to the cause.

When any leader acts like the cause is over because they have been censored or questioned, a red flag has risen is flying on the battlefield. Warning: Your leader is in it for himself. Because, any Catholic knows becoming a martyr is the surest way to Heaven, why would someone espousing to be a saint expect to be treated better than Jesus?

I’d like to ask Mark Crutcher that.

A Trappist beer is somewhat different to an abbey beer. Out of all the beers in the world, only seven of them can use the name ‘Trappist’: Achel, Chimay, La Trappe, Orval, Rochefort, Westvleteren and Westmalle. You can recognise them from the “Authentic Trappist Product” logo.

A Trappist beer is only given this name if it satisfies a number of strict criteria:

1. The beer is brewed within the walls of a Trappist abbey, by the monks themselves or under their supervision.
2. The brewery must be controlled by the monastery and have a business culture compatible with the monastic project.
3. The purpose of the brewery is not to make a profit. The income takes care of the livelihood of the monks and the upkeep of the abbey site. What is left over is used for charitable purposes, social work and people in need.

Only a fool would stand up to the Chinese government, there’s nothing to gain and do it enough you will end up dead. What an idiot. He’s blind so he couldn’t see the officials’ reptilian eyes, but he could listen to their lies.  Yes, he’s a foolhardy soul, the type God uses.

In 2005, Chen exposed harsh illegal measures by local authorities when enforcing the one-child policy, where family planning officials from Linyi municipal authorities in Shandong forced thousands of people to undergo sterilization or to abort pregnancies. Chinese national regulations prohibit such brutal measures. The officials were also accused of detaining and torturing relatives of people who had escaped from the forced measures.^[1]

Chen filed a class-action lawsuit on the women’s behalf against Linyi officials and drew attention to the plight of the villagers. He also traveled to Beijing in June 2005 to seek redress. Although the suit he filed was rejected, the incident was publicised on the Internet and by the Time magazine who interviewed Chen.^[2] This prompted the National Population and Family Planning Commission to launch an investigation in August 2005. A month later, the Commission announced that several Linyi officials were detained. Wikipedia

If Chen Guangcheng is dead, he has been murdered and is a martyr.  Meanwhile they’re  currently four news stories on Google News about his demise- all from same source, thousands about Steve Jobs who had to commission a book so kids would know him. Oh and Pavone’s followers continue to wring their hands about his “detention.”

God Save Us from those who are really blind!

NB: Justin Bieber should use his sway and Tweet on behalf of this man. Just sayin.

Flat iron

Fr. Pavone, in the fund-raising pitch sent via overnight UPS courier services, begs for a response: “I had to reach you [the donor] right away and address some important issues that concern you, me, and our work together at Priests for Life, and the entire pro-life movement here in the United States. Before I go into that with you, I must first tell you that it is critically important that you send me a response of any kind to this letter.”

Above is the latest appeal from Fr. Pavone- I am first struck by the fact it has been sent after he has been ordered to stop by his Bishop and secondly by the request- why for money right now? And also, I have to wonder if he thinks he is the pro-life movement? Sadly, I think he does or worst of all wants us to see his as such. I think Mark Crutcher has it right when he stated this “issue” is about ego, but wrong about whose. (Note Crutcher wants us to believe Fr. Pavone is in exile, fighting off snakes….)

I am sure there will be those who argue that someone must be paid to fight abortion and that they’re not really paid because of abortion. (Note: I know very few are paid  to protest abortion, I am writing about the few paid protesters.) But really, without abortion they’d be out-of-business. Same as the abortionist. Of course, the abortionist is paid to kill, and the protester is paid to try and stop the killing.  Yes, there are thousands of symbiotic relationships out there where people make money off of something for dissimilar reasons. For example, candy makers make money off of people buying candy and gyms make money off of people trying to work off what they ate. Both survive on people eating too much. Neither could survive if people gave up eating crap. Yes, some people never eat candy and others like to workout regardless of what they eat or not, but gyms get rich off of people who sign up and never go - and they’re driven by their obesity caused by eating too much. 

There’s a food chain almost everywhere you look. Abortion, as every pro-lifer knows, is BIG business. And sadly there are some who use the pro-life cause to make money. Fr. Corapi, seeking laicization I believe,  is one example of a priest who used a conservative message to make money, lots of money. And he only left the priesthood when, like the rich young man in the Bible, he was asked to leave behind everything. In Fr. C’s case he couldn’t leave behind his homes and bank accounts. And now it seems Fr. Pavone of Priest’s for Life is having money troubles too.

“Since he has consistently refused to subject (Priests for Life) to a transparent and complete auditing of all expenditures, I have reasons to be alarmed at the potential financial scandal that might arise if it were the result of my failure to correct Father Pavone’s incorrigible defiance to my legitimate authority as his bishop,” Bishop Zurek said.

According to an independent group some pro-life organizations receive low ratings. Now I know some of these items may seem trivial to the lay person, so I think it is best to look at organizations’ 990s. A red flag for me is if they do not post them to their site. I have to wonder why?  Please see pro-life groups ratings here.

Finally, I can’t possibly know the legitimate expenses of organizations, but I do know how effective a group run on nothing but conviction can be. And when I see millions raised and little tangible to show for their fundraising- I know the organization continues for some reason other than the one stated. Travel expenses? Mailings? Isn’t it best to get local people involved, have them give talks? Why fly in someone to say the party line to the choir? And really, why would a charity organization in this day and age, need or want a $500,000 mailing budget? Paid to the board member/printer by the way.

I have been an activist for years and met all of the people I write about. I even witnessed one leader being groomed “backstage” at an event as if he was a rock star. I, myself, have seen how people appear when a lucrative lawsuit in our favor is looming. Experienced the all too human desire for success whatever the cost or means.

Mostly, I have learned that people will use whatever or whomever to get what they want, be it fame, money or power.

OK, I am way past the demographic JB targets. Yes, I could be called a cougar. Meow. But I am not, I am the mom down the street thinking….”Patti, think of your son.” I know it sucks being poor, been there, done that, ate the ramen and wiped with Burger King swiped napkins. But what’s worse…a child growing up to believe if he “never says: never” all will work out even to the point he, himself, becomes the conduit of others happiness. Yes, there have always been entertainers, court jesters, those who make our slog through this misery, called everyday life, bearable. But never before have entertainers been so exploitable and able to to exploit.

Elvis had records, was played on radio and TV and young women enraptured- as it was he took advantage and died from his deathstyle. Yes, deathstyle. Elvis’s life was self fufilling prophecy- his music a funeral dirge. While millions enjoyed his music, his “gift” was condemning him to life within a smaller and smaller cell, to the point he died in the toilet.  Not only was Elvis taken advantage of he, he became a monster using all around him.

And I can see that already happening to Justin. The less than desirable friends, the lack attitude toward intimacy, the attitude, the hangers on, the things…. It’s sad because Justin started out as a good kid, but is now drowning in what money can buy. And you can’t buy your way out of that. Only self denial saves one in that place and we all know what the rich kid in the Bible chose.

OK, theologically, most of the time, they have it right. Sort of. After listening to years of, former Protestants but just can’t let the Bible thumping go, Catholic apologists and former fornicators turned “chastity champions ,” I can’t anymore. When they’re not fielding calls from the scrupulous (not mocking, I have suffered scrupulosity)  they’re proclaiming on the licitness of a woman hyphenating their name. In between, they’re neglecting to address the issues they’re not in agreement with the Pope, like capitol punishment and capitalism.

When you first “come back,” or join the Church you want to be told you’re right, it’s nice to listen to the cheering section especially in a world where your belief system is the butt of many jokes. But, for me, as I went to Church longer, to say ” I grew in faith” would be trite, I tired of the words and wanted practice. And while I fall far from the mark, I have come to see those most ready with a Bible verse in defense of Purgatory or Mary as co-redemptrix have no interest in their uninsured neighbor. Non, zip, zero and may even blame them for their disease. Yep. Of course, I can’t claim all apologists are absent actions, but from what I have seen- folks have no problem spending their hard-earned money on gas guzzling SUVs while some folks don’t have decent public transit.  And so on… The material greed that is readily apparent in the face of world’s suffering is repulsive and NEVER addressed by the likes of Catholic Answer, well maybe it is, you know on one of their apologetics’s cruises.

This is my tumblr to bitch on. Forgive me for offense, I can only take so much, for so long.